Easy A, Facebook, and too much thinking

With too much time on your hands, it usually leads to way too much thinking. Thinking about the past, the future, the what ifs and could have beens. Its frustrating, knowing that you can't change something and that you didn't do something about it when you could. I've learned never to regret the past but that doesn't mean that it stops me from thinking about it on a daily basis.

Usually it's around the scheme of what if I hadn't taken on more than I could handle? Would I be normal? Would I be so stressed out all the time? Would I have gotten accepted into so many summer programs? Would I be happier?
It usually never ends well, when I get into those moods I mean. Because this ALWAYS leads to that.

And that would be my abandonment issues. Common mistakes include the idea that you can only feel abandoned by family members, husbands/wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. But sometimes, it's just a friend that was supposed to be there. For me, that is what it was. A friend that made promises they never kept, a promise to help you through the worst, to be the light at the end of the tunnel. Why am I still so angry at him? Because i had the worst year of my life and when I tried to reach out to him, he ignored me. Only until he had something that he needed to talk about did he turn to me, and once we talked it through, it was back to me being alone. How can you trust when people break promises and abandon you to your own luck when you need them?

Sometimes things are great and I don't think about it at all. But then there are those moments when you aren't surrounded by people or with a ton of work to do, when you have too much time to think and find out that you still don't know why people do what they do or why some people have to deal with so much and others with nothing at all but where to go shopping the next day.

Just a little thought when I had too much time. I wonder if anyone out there cares at all what I'm saying. But i guess that's the point: you never know who will see it.

-N

Oh if wishes came true

Then I would:
1. Win the Jeaniene Frost giveaway
2. Be accepted to Chapman & LOVE it
3. Get to yell at the worst ex-best friend ever (for that to happen he'd have to stop ignoring me
4. Be happy